Mood Stuff

RB said my blog has been too "Woe is me" lately. HUMPH What does he mean? ME? Down in the dumps. That crazy man. Besides hasn't he noticed it's a blog world thing right now... Elle is struggling, Lauri has taken a hiatus- it is just something in the atmosphere. Why? Here it is the brink of summer. The dawn of life brought by spring... why are we all so down?

Oh who knows.

I am feeling much better. I have gone back to weekly acupuncture and seem to be seeing the light of day again. RB has lightened up a bit too which has helped me immensely. I don't think he realizes how grumpy and down he has been. He tends to think I am the only moody one around here. Granted my moods may be of quicker onset and more acutely changing but he and his moods have a great amount of influence on me and mine.

Okay, I have a question... do any of you forget your words? I drive myself completely nuts when I blank out on a word. These are not difficult words either. I have to keep telling my self the definition over and over until I can come up with the dang word. Influence just got me and there seems to always be a word that I know, but just cannot get out of my mouth. It's almost like stuttering... you know what you want to say, you know what the word means, you know that you KNOW the word- but it just will not come to mind or out of your mouth. This became an issue for me when I was pregnant with my first son. I hoped it was just hormones or stress but I swear that was 13 years ago and I am still here doing the same darn thing. I think I suffered brain damage of some sort- really. It is so damn frustrating! I had high blood pressure maybe I blew a gasket...

Okay, back to mood.

This book I am reading Undoing Depression has some ideas for getting through the thought processes that send us into these downward spirals. They advise having a mood journal and writing everything down so you can keep up with the events and thoughts that accompany the moods. It says you can identify patterns and begin to change the way you react to events. It says faulty thought patterns create our moods and if only we can re-teach our reactions to things we can reduce the experiences of downward swings. We apparently suppress our true emotions and beat ourselves up mentally... we take on far more responsibility than is actually ours and think people dislike us even when they actually do not. We also tend to be anti-social as a protective barrier- we think people do not like us- so if we do not put ourselves out there in the first place, we protect ourselves from being rejected. Sound familiar?

I have not begun the mood journal. The thought of actually writing down exactly how I feel about exact events scares the hell out of me. WHAT IF SOMEBODY READ IT? WHAT IF I DIED AND MY FAMILY GOT HOLD OF THAT THING!?!?!?!? Guess that just proves I do suppress my actual emotions and I do worry over other peoples feelings- even ahead of my own. YIKES.

I suppose I better get going. Ma just called and asked me to come have lunch with her... LUNCH? SHEESH, is it already lunch time? I am not even hungry!

Allright, have a good day and try to find some mood peace.

Get yourself a good healing stone and stick it in your pocket! (I suggest rose quartz, amethyst, or fluorite:-)

Believe we are happy, healthy, wealthy, loved, beautiful, and LUCKY!